That sweet little mystery called life
You’ve heard the expression, “when one door closes, another one opens.”
Well, it’s true, life is bursting with opportunities, but do you have the courage to take the leap? I ask that because in order to let a new door open you have to trust in yourself and existence enough to let the old door close first. And of course that is scary, for you risk being left in limbo for ever. You fear there may never be a new door to open.
When I split up with my first wife, I thought it was the end of the world and my broken heart would never heal. Yet within one week I was living a totally, and I mean totally, different life, in short sorting out my problems and relearning how to be happy. It was the start of finding my true path and finding the courage to follow it. Very exciting.
I gave her my half-share in our jointly owned house in return for a clean break. Thereafter, I found myself living in a communal rented house with 14 other wonderful people; I dropped my crumbling business with its mounting debts and became self-employed as a carpenter; I resumed partying with renewed vigour; I took up my guitar again, joined a traditional Irish folk music band and we went busking in Amsterdam. And on the day my decree absolute arrived I decided to take up sailing.
There were many doors banging shut on my old life and new doors opening all over the place. I just started exploring to find what would fit and though at first I was fearful, I began to remember what it feels like to be properly human, enjoying life and no longer depressed and functioning like a robot. And best of all, I started writing my first book, The Five Pillars of Happiness.
Would I ever get it published? I had no idea. If I did, would it ever sell? I didn’t care, I just wanted with all my heart to become an author. I’d never written a complete book before and that was goal enough to start with (as it happens it was published and you can find it on Amazon).
Now, some 40 years later, I am shutting another door by selling my beloved boat. OMG, what will I do with myself all summer now that I’m retired? But it feels like time to call it quits. It’s not the sailing, that’s the easy bit. It’s the travelling (we keep her on the Atlantic coast of France), the enormous amounts of luggage, the huge amount of walking around massive French marinas and across towns to our favourite restaurants, and of course, the expense. And I have to admit that sailing on the sea can be hazardous, strenuous and at times extremely challenging and I just don’t have the energy any more. It’s become more stressful and less joyful, so what’s the point? Then one evening on yet another long walk back to the boat I heard myself say, “I don’t want to do this any more.” That’s when I knew it was time to let the door close.
What will happen next? Who knows? I have a few irons in the fire and I’m feeling excited about new adventures as yet unknown. And finally here’s an amusing irony: our very last sailing trip in the boat we are now selling was purely by chance in the company of none other than Becky, editor/publisher of this esteemed magazine and her son Monty!
